Comedy Short: Leading Lady Parts – BBC

Comedy Short: Leading Lady Parts – BBC


DOOR OPENSFOOTSTEPS APPROACHHi! You must be…Emilia.Stacy.Felicity, for the lady part.I’m Florence. Reading for…The leading lady part. I’m Gemma.And what did you think of it,
the part?
Well, I loved it.It’s just a great part.
I think she’s…
Great.How do you see her?
She was feisty.
Feisty?She’s bold.Huh!Mm…Oh, jeez…She’s the one calling the shots,
she’s…

THEY GROAN
I think she’s pretty…Thank God!
..clever, she’s… She’s pretty…

CASTING AGENT SPLUTTERING
..clever. That’s not what you’re
going for?
Well…No.I mean, we hadn’t really…No.Clever’s not really something we…Want or care about,
at all, actually.
You do realise this is
the leading lady part?
Sh… Shall we have a read?CINEMATIC MUSICIt’s what I’ve always wanted.The chance to speak…
All right, thank you.
I’m not sure that’s quite
what we’re after, really.
Do it again but just this time try
it a bit more…
..smiley.You want me to s-smile?Yeah.Just, you know, more…leading lady.The scene gets quite tragic.So?I…sort of thought she’d be crying.
Crying?!
She could cry.Mm.But not, like,ugly cry.More like sensual, sexy crying,
like, wet…
In a shower.Shower of crying.And smiling.Think of the poster.It’s what I’ve always wanted.The chance to…
And let’s stop you there.
Do it again, only this time could
you try it with a bit more…
..make-up.I’m sorry?She’s our leading lady, she’s got to
be…peachy.
If you could just…CINEMATIC MUSICIt’s all I ever…Maybe lose
the jumper.
Sorry?The jumper.And the shirt.The-The shirt, why?
And the rest of it.
Is that really necessary?It’s the
character.
But she’s a doctor.Yes, and it’s very hot –
in the hospital.
In south London?Exactly.It says here that it’s November.
The heating’s broken.
WHISPERING:NHS cuts.
And she’s trying to operate
but all this stuff keeps
getting in the way.
Her clothes?Yes, her clothes!Could we just…CLOTHES CRINKLINGUNZIPPINGIt’s what…I’d always wanted.The chance…Oh, no.That was fine.I mean…fine.But could you just be a bit…..thinner?Thinner?Yeah, we really saw her
as…
Thin.Like a twiglet.
Like a twiglet.
Yeah. You know, feminine,
vulnerable, delicate and…thin.
But with a great rack.What?Stick thin – with boobs.And hips.Oh, but not big hips.
No. Not, you know…
WHISPERING:..baby-bearing…
HA!
Can you imagine?!Sorry, I don’t really get it.
I… What are you asking me to do?
It’s not rocket science, darling,
we’re just asking you to be thin
AND curvy, sexy AND innocent.So, which?Both.You know, sexy virgin.Thin, sexy hooker virgin with
boobs and hips but not big ones.
She’s never had sex
but she’s all about sex.
She definitely wants it.
Oh, she wants it. But not too much!
Not too much but a bit.
Yeah, like, a lot.
But a bit.Just, you know…..leading lady.SHE EXHALESCINEMATIC MUSICIt’s…OK, stop there.THEY WHISPERI just… I don’t think…WHISPERING INAUDIBLYIs everything all right?WHISPERINGYeah, could you just be a bit
more…
..white?Hi, I’m Lena, it’s really nice to
meet you.
No.Sorry?We’re after leading ladies,
not leading lady’s mum.
Ha!Yeah, I am a leading lady.
No, you’re not.
I AM a leading lady.No, you’re not.Yes, I am.
Nope!
Mum.Have you seen my IMDb?Yeah, you’re a mum.
Yeah, I’ve played some mums.
Mum.I played a kick-arse mum.Kick-arse
mum’s still a mum.
But you’re hot.Yeah, hot mum!Hot mum, I could get
on board with that.
I can hear you.Next!NE-E-EXT!Wow, what’s wrong with her?!WHISPERING:Menopause.Mm.Oh, thank God.Oh!I’m gagging for a coffee.Three skinny cappuccinos.
Do you want yours extra hot?
Oh, I’m…
I’m actually here to read.
What?I’m here to audition.For…the leading lady?Don’t get it.WHISPERING:She seems to think
she’s here for leading lady.
Yeah, but she’s…This is awkward.Look, it’s not
that kind of film, darling.
Uh, and what kind of film is that?
I know what’s happened.
You’ve been sent to the wrong room.They’re auditioning for that
other film, um… What is it?
Black Panther Returns.That’s it.
That’s in the next suite.
No, I’m not here to addition
for Black Panther Returns,
I’m here to audition for your film.THEY WHISPER, GIGGLEAre you…really not going
to let me read?
SHE SCOFFSWHISPERINGWait.If you’re passing Starbucks on the
way out…
DOOR SLAMSWhat are we going to do?Mm.That first one’s big on Instagram.Yeah, but she’s…meh.I don’t think we’ve…No, I just
don’t think we’ve found
THE ONE.Nope.Hey!Yep?Is that it?Is that everyone?I’m afraid so.Do you think…What?Actually, I’d quite like to read.
I’m just starting out.
Look at my face.Sorry.I think someone else just turned up,
let me check.
THEY LAUGH, WHISPERINGWho is that?!That’s ridiculous!GASPINGOh! He-llo!Hi. I’m Tom,and I’m here to read for
the leading lady.
I’m just going to stop you there.You’ve got the part.Great.Hi.Yeah, yeah, it was…It’s always hard to tell, isn’t it?
But…I think I did all right.
Yeah, I’m…I think I’m in with a shot.Me too.Me…too.

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