Craziest Client Stories #6 | Tattoo Artists Answer

Craziest Client Stories #6 | Tattoo Artists Answer



my best stories I go to jail for dude I got I got some sorry foot nazis involving shit but that's like a whole 20 minute thing man like gosh there's nothing that's been too crazy there's only had one little one where chick had passed out but then she went blind yeah one time I had a dude queef on me but that was only time in record history that that's ever happens only happen once every I remember that oh my primary favor one I had someone pass out looking at reference images before I even started drawing I could tell you about the time a tattooed Ricky Martin no wait no I shouldn't do that I was at the bar after work one night and this kid is sitting next to me at the bar drinking a beer my name my own business and he goes this is the greatest night of my life I've always wanted to go to Pittsburgh and see the Steelers and I finally did it and now I'm here and the only thing that'll make my life complete is if I find a tattoo artist that'll tattoo the words bad ass on my butt cheek and he's just staring at me and I'm like do I tell him they might tell him I had to do it I did it I was I think I was 18 years old on Harley Davidson garage so dude work on a motorcycle right fucking here I'm here tattooing which is already perfectly sanitary and the girls on a table and I'm tattooing her back and while her heads like down in the hole her boyfriend is like trying to just give me a line of something off a key and I'm like bro no at the same time I feel his old lady's hand under the table go up my fucking shorts and I'm like this being weird another calvert and the mechanic working on the motorcycle just looks over sees her hand on my dick and he just looks at me goes cool bro and then he just goes back to working on the motorcycle it I'm like this is a fucking weird world I just a scoop on the key was early 2000 in the bump on the answer that question when I was tattooing for like six months I was I was in a sketchy Street shop run by even sketchier people and I had a guy come in right before closing with a bat with blood on it talking about he just beat up this guy with it and he's going to jail he has to get tattooed tonight and the owner of the shop I was like a hundred and twenty pounds like a little little kid the owner of the shop tossed me the keys and was like lock up when you're done with them and just left funny enough I actually tattoo his kids now and they're great clients I definitely had a client that I'm fairly certain gave me cookies that was laced with his D my mentors saw the whole thing and his name's Kanaya but all I got out of him in that moment was this face no help whatsoever and the guy was just like I want to watch you eat one and I don't think I saw him blink the whole time I tattooed him either his eyes were just self lubricating and I didn't know where to go or what to do so ate the cookie I ate a cookie and for I took a bite and I tried to kind of like like cookie monster it where I was just like but it's still he's still inside you I had a lady come into my shop and I just told the story yesterday so she got tattooed on her number one cocksucker across her chest with a huge cock that was squirting a load of come across her left tit fuck yeah I did it and I did it beautifully it was veiny and everything I was it was gorgeous when I finished all the outline and started shading she asked me to take a 30 minute break and this is what made me remember it forever and I said it's gonna hurt a lot more when we go back why do you need such a long break and she said I got to get my kids from school they just got out I'll drop them off at home and I'll come back I swear to God I was working in the shop and this little old lady comes in and she's like I want to get tattooed and I'm like okay cool I'm like all right what do we want I want the words eat me you know she's like like in her 70s like late 70s so it's just like all right be a man set up your professionals canvas right where are we gonna do it that's where I asked where are we gonna do it I want to put it on the outside of my vagina I'm just going oh there is this one guy and he it's like my really good friends with this one girl and he was her brother so he had asked through her to get an appointment with me so I turn down like other people and whatever he shows up for his appointment he goes I don't have any money and god I really want to get tattooed and I was like you're a fucking dick and he's like but come on man I really want when I'm like the only tattoo I'm doing on you today is a dick so get out he sat down and he said do it I didn't even put a stencil on I just went straight freehand I looked up a monster cocks on Google and I just free handed that thing that sucker was a life-size full realism and I was like right here like on his leg and like literally he was right here on his leg he's like there doesn't go past my knees and he just rolled it like and they'd be like ah this he had have been probably pushing 70 came into the shop like he had been tattooed – plenty plenty of times but this was his first tattoo and he ended up giving straight up eyeballs on the back of his head for his first tattoo now he was he was acting weird he was kind of funny you know we were having a good time with him and everything he left came back an hour later he he's like I forgot something in your booth so he goes in there pulls out a 38 out of the artists drawer like you know she just left for a second so he hides his gun in her groin and it turns how he robbed a liquor store before he got eyeballs tattooed on the back of his head and hit my first year tattooing i tattooed this guy who was a zua file for those who don't know zua file is not like like bestiality but they're emotionally and physically attracted to animals and he was also a set of file which is a set of POD is a dolphin so he was in love with dolphins and he had sex with developers so he had a dolphin on his forearm with the game gaping vagina and it said set a file forever so my craziest tattoo story this was kind of like about a good 12 years ago um this was kind of when I was still doing walkins and this guy walked in and he could totally tell that he was a drug a little for sure he was like I want ICP and flames on my neck okay hundred dollars man let's do this so he lays down I started doing it and his he opened his mouth and it was legit tooth I don't know you guys know if it what a tooth is but his teeth were all one because there's so much freaking fur there was like colonies on that shit so his breath was just coming out of his mouth and I had to be right here tattooing flames ICP and black letters in the meantime while I'm tattooing on him his girlfriend and his two friends were sitting in the booth to watching the porn that they made the previous night and then they're turning it me if I would join them they stunk to high heaven too I had to fur breeze everything I would have to be definitely the time I turn somebody's junk or cock it turned their cock into a snake literally from tip to balls it was this is pretty interesting was very early on in my career and I knew the guy and I'm just gonna pretend he's sitting here so I'm like I drew up drew it all on there and I'm like am I gonna do this how am I gonna stretch it out so then I just grabbed it and wrapped it around my hand I'm looking up at him holding his cock in my hand and he's looking down at me and I was just kind of waiting for him to be like no I'm kidding I don't really want to do this and then he was he didn't say anything in it it was probably only a few seconds but it felt like an eternity and I was just like right in I had it involves a dick it involves a butt a girl named Ashley Z was in there so there was these twins that came into my shop and I know what brothers are like I have a brother were very I have two brothers but the one that we're closer in age we've always been in competition so I could imagine twins you know like they look alike they sounded like they might fuck alike they said they have basically the same dick so you know like yeah okay these guys are like in competition so there was a fight UFC fight I was a one-man show so like I would answer phones greet clients do tattoos do piercings you know do paperwork all that shit all in a day while still listening to the whole shop so like I'm in there doing a piercing these dudes are talking about this fight and I'm like whoever loses I'm doing a dick tattoo on you we decided to get a bunch of beer and go back to the tattoo shop and do this tattoo well so we went to this bar where Ashley is he was working ate some fucking food drank a bunch of drinks fucking then we strolled back to the tattoo shop and just irresponsibly I drew up a gigantic cock with wings big beautiful wings and rocket booster testicles the whole bitch was pink and the wings were purple and green and it was on his ass like this big like I wanted that bitch to be seen it was in my portfolio for like five years maybe eight years afterwards oh man I was proud of this thing so the winner he was he was just jealous of the losers tattoo at that point this chick asked Doug who worked at the shop he was teaching me how to tattoo asked him how much for this tattoo and he show she showed him a picture of a butterfly said 200 bucks and then she came in with two guys and they're like great let's do it so they all go into his room he draws it up he's like okay where do you want to put it and he goes to put the stencil on and he didn't realize that she actually wanted it on her vagina so this fine whatever it's a vagina tattoo he's bummed he didn't price it higher in the middle of the butterfly is the middle of her vagina and the that we have little rooms at the shop so it's tight and he's got two dudes and this one chick and he's now tattooing for 200 bucks this butterfly on this chick's vagina and the dudes are watching and wondered thought to be her husband and wonder it ought to be her boyfriend and he realizes he's gotten sucked into some sort of crazy fantasy for 200 bucks and it's it's the door shut and it's hot and it's it's getting gross in the room no big deal whatever that's kind of weird but what's weirder is that they came back like a couple weeks later and they had taken a picture of the butterfly on her vagina and wanted the picture of the butterfly on her vagina as a tramp stamp now I assume so that while the husband and the boyfriend are with her they both get to see the same thing okay so I knew this guy and he was real weird and I always thought that he was really weird but I just thought he was like the oh he's he's safe and you know like he's not creepy well he's creepy but so he comes into the tattoo shop and he is satanic I guess like no one to be satanic and he asked me to do what's the loot can be the Satanic Bible the shopfront told me she's like she carries around jewels and stuff cuz she's like super like in tune like spiritually so she gives me like this little rock or something like that she's like put this in your and I don't get like red blotches none I don't get hives I got hives everywhere I'm starting to break a sweat I'm like what I've never tattooed a satanic symbol I've only to add to it like I haven't even tattooing a tear drop on somebody's face you know I lay the stencil and I have this big mirror in like my booth and he does like he gets it on his wrist and he does this he brings out his arms and he like looks at the mirror and he's like doing his little like praying thing and um so he's praying in my mirror I'm freaking out trying to set in this little jewel in my pocket I'm like shaking pouring ink and my little ink caps and shit's hot well I'm doing his tattoo he's like looking at me and he goes I like your feet long story short he gets done he backs me up into a corner and says that he could smell my soul and then he leaves so I guess shortly after she tattooed him my coworker was tattooing the guy and like word got around the shop that he was a Satanist and all that like heavy heavy like summoning spirits and shit like that in his apartment so he always brought like this little girlfriend along with her all the time if she seemed like really sweet and nice and every time I would like look in there to where my coworker was tattooing the guy his girlfriend would just look at me like help help me you know like help me two days later he ended up shooting her to death in the front yard and all kinds of crazy shit happened yeah so in Sandusky where my shop is at we found out like same day and he like they were in a fight and like he like shot her in the head and then shot himself and then they go into his house and it's nothing but weird like they're all black rooms except for one room which it was her like kids broom and like there was like dead animals in the back and like there's all kinds of weird satanic symbols on the walls so he was legit you

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