DRAW MY LIFE: KAT BLAQUE (ANIMATED!!)

DRAW MY LIFE: KAT BLAQUE (ANIMATED!!)


Hi, I’m Kat Blaque and this is Draw My Life. On September 14th, I was born in a city called
Linwood. And I’ve never met my birth mom. I was adopted by two loving parents named
Sharon and Warren, and they loved me and they raised me. They raised me in a very Christian home. Put
me in Christian school, and gave me the biblical name “Matthew”. I spent most of my childhood at the park.
It’s where I used to make up stories in my mind. I used to pretend I was a warrior princess and I used
to hit the trees with a stick that I found on the floor. And I used to think about my life, my future. I
used to look in the creek and wonder who I was going to be. But honestly, I never really came up with a good
answer. To a certain degree, I always knew I was different.
But I really didn’t know what that meant. In preschool, my favorite activity was art.
I loved to draw, I loved to paint, and I just loved to create. Unfortunately this was kind-of more of a girl
thing. But, the teacher really liked what I did and told my parents that they needed to foster my artistic
talents. When I was in fifth grade, my mom took me
to an animation expo for kids to color. It was there that I heard a guy talking about a school called
Cal Arts. So I instantly turned to my mom and I was like, can I go there? And she was like, maybe… But I knew from that day on that was the school
that I wanted to go to. So I put that on my back of my mind and decided to devote a lot of energy
and time into getting in to this school. I was so dedicated that I kinda had tunnel vision, to be honest.
I really missed out on a lot of really good friendships and I kind of had a hard time understanding why
I couldn’t really connect with people. When I went to middle school, became a really
dark kid. I wore hoodies that covered my entire body cause I really did not like way I looked.
I was really depressed and I would spend all my time in the library and I absolutely had no friends. It
wasn’t until I joined Drama that I kind of started to be a little more confident and I started to come out my
shell, just a little bit. This is where I really started to question
myself. I started to wonder whether or not I was a boy or a girl. Because, at the time, y’know there were
things I kind of liked about the idea of being both. So, I kind of decided that I was somewhere
in between. I kind of accepted that I was genderqueer. And so I started living androgynously, well at
least at school. Things really started looking up, when I was
sixteen (16) years old, I applied to Cal Arts. And when I was seventeen (17), I had found out I had gotten
in on my first try. I was so excited. I was finally going to the school of my dreams. I really honestly couldn’t
believe it. I was even more excited because I had actually, recently came out to my parents
as gay. Even though, I knew that’s really not what I was. And I thought that going to school would mean I
would be able to find some cute guy to – y’know – be in a relationship with. So, at this phase of my life I kind of dressed
a little crazy. I used to wear like splatter painted clothes and I would always wear a handkerchief and had
like this red bag that I thought was just absolutely fabulous. But y’know turns out, not so much. So, I
decided I would change my look up a bit. So I had like a basic uniform; I wore like a plaid shirt, usually
short sleeved, uhm denim cut off shorts, and uhm I used to take those Arabian scarfs and tie them around my
head, and it kind of looked like long hair. And people called me Kitty. Well, some people did. See, cause I kinda was living a double life.
Some people only knew me as Matt. Some people only knew me as Kitty. And it kind of became really
confusing, and really frustrating. One of the things that I probably should’ve
mentioned earlier in this video is that when I hit puberty, I started to develop breasts. And this was basically
why I had so many issues with my body when I was in middle school. Uhm, so I wasn’t really y’know
whether or not I was queer, whether or not I was gay, or maybe I was trans? Either way, my body was definitely telling
me something. In the second semester of my first year of
school, I met this guy named Rob. Rob was this really cute artist and he was really nice, even though
he was thirty (30). Me and him spent Valentine’s Day together. And we ended up dating four (4)
months after that, but deep down inside I really was dealing with a lot of issues because honestly I really
didn’t like being seen as a guy in a relationship. And not that I define my gender off who was attracted to
me or interested in me, so don’t get me wrong but – it was kind of recognizing that he wanted a man and
I couldn’t necessarily be that for him. That helped me realize that – I’m not a boy. I’m not
queer. I’m holding onto this old identity because other people want me to be this identity. But I just needed
to be honest with myself and accept that I’m a girl. And I knew I couldn’t be happy in any relationship unless
I was absolutely honest with myself. So that’s when I made the decision to go
full-time at the end of my freshman year. And when I went full- time, I really started to love myself. So each year at Cal Arts, we had to make our
own animated film. The first year I did a film about a cannibalistic prostitute, my second year I
did a film a little boy who wanted to be a pretty princess, my third year I did a film about a nymph and
a bard, and my last year I did a film about a girl who learned to play the ukulele to impress a boy who lives
in San Francisco. So, I was full-time for over a year and in
my junior year I knew that I had to take mones. I needed to take an estrogen and an anti-androgen. So I did
some research and I figured out how to order hormones online. And I began to self-medicate. I was
really nervous about self-medicating. At about six (6) months I really started to see the changes, and I
was finally really happy with how my body looked. Senior year was my best year. Because by then,
I had already my name legally changed to Kathryn. I was even more excited because I was going to be
moving into the MFFA dorms. And no one would know me in the MFFA dorms. So that meant that I could
be stealth. The first week of my senior year, I went out
and I partied a bunch. I got very drunk and I met a bunch of people and definitely got a lot of male attention. So being stealth ended up being way more complicated
than I initially anticipated. So that’s when I really turned to YouTube to kind of tell my stories
and honestly vent and say things that I just couldn’t say because I was stealth. In my senior year,
I turned twenty-one (21) years old. And to celebrate we went to a bar. And it was at that bar that I met
my friend Arin. Arin invited me over to a party that was the next day. And at that party, I met a very,
very fancy gay man with a bag full of beer. And I knew instantly that we were going to be friends. His name
was Arturo. Me and Arturo became best friends. And I thought
that I should tell him, y’know just assuming that y’know that he was gay that he would maybe
be able to tell, that I was transgendered. And to my shock, he was completely surprised by it. And uhm,
I told him don’t tell anyone about this. And he was like okay, I promise. Arturo had this roommate
that always used to flirt with me, and sometimes I would flirt back. And well apparently, so I found later
on, Arturo really did not like this and since he was really friends with his roommate he decided it would
be a good idea to tell the roommate that I was trans. And in turn, he told another person who told another
person, who eventually told pretty much all the friends that I had made my first few weeks of school.
I was pretty devastated. I was so mad with Arturo that I didn’t talk to him for at least a month. But, he popped up one day and said I’m sorry
and had a new pair of shoes for me. And I said well y’know I guess I’ll forgive you. Honestly, being
stealth was pretty stressful and, in a way, felt kind of relieved that people knew. I had worn wigs through most
of my transition, but in my senior year I started to really wear my real hair. Cause I finally I was kinda
confident to have short hair and not care. Though, unfortunately, toward the end of my last year
I went out with a guy that was really abusive and I ended up cutting off most of my hair and leaving
just my bangs. And uhm, I kind of did this to – y’know- repel the male gaze, but honestly I kind of being
way more confident about myself because I feel that if you can rock a bald head like you can rock almost
no hair, it’s like – I dunno – it’s a huge accomplishment. My final film got into the open show, which
was an accomplishment for me because I never really finished my films until then. And I graduated
with my bachelor’s in Fine Arts in 2012. After graduation, I was really, really depressed because I moved
back in with my parents and I had: no job, no money, and no friends. Ultimately, I kind of felt like
I was a failure at Cal Arts because I really didn’t have a chance to focus cause I was so distracted by transition
really. In hopes of pulling myself out of a rut, I started my own fashion illustrated blog and I started
to pursue some children illustration gigs. But I wasn’t getting the amount of success that I wanted to, so
I still kind of depressed. And my life honestly really changed when I met my boyfriend Nicholas. He accepted
that I was transgender and he respected and loved me. And on top of that, he also encouraged me
to work really hard and I started to focus myself a lot more. I got my gender marker legally changed, and
I just really started to look at my artwork and my career in an entirely different way. One day I got a phone call from FOX animation
studios, they were having an internship at a sub unit called ADHD. I was really excited cause they
gave me the internship, the only downside to this was that I had to take a bus ride every day from San
Dimas to Hollywood. And that’s basically a six (6) hour round trip. Sadly, my internship came to an end. But,
honestly I was kind of relieved because the trip was really stressful and I really didn’t get a lot
of time to do anything other than my internship. But luckily, I was approached by an English professor who was
trying to write a children’s book and he wanted to work with me. He gave me complete creative control
over the book and that’s basically where I am now. Right now, me and my boyfriend, we’re both
working on pursuing our dreams. He wants to be a chef, he’s part Japanese so he wants to have like
a Japanese fusion food truck. And I am pursuing my dreams in animation and children’s illustration,
fashion, all of the above. For once in my life I can say with a hundred percent (100%) certainty that I know
who I am. And I’m really happy with how’ve I’ve become. I have a clear dream for the future and I know
that I’m going to reach my goals. I really wanted to thank everyone who’s been subscribed to me for
the past three (3) years on YouTube. And that you guys continue with many more with me. And if you’re
just checking in, my story is not yet over. There is still so much I didn’t say in this video. So subscribe!
Thanks for sitting through another one of my long videos. Bye guys!

100 Comments

  • Camille Voyage says:

    This is so beautiful and so are you inside and out! Just subscribed, I love your true tea sundays 🙂

  • Kathryn Dow says:

    Your drawings are so beautiful and your story is amazing. I'm an illustration student and I was so blown away by your style! I love your videos, your content is gold, only been watching for a few days and I'm hooked x

  • SuperOrderedChaos says:

    I absolutely adore your art 🙂 You've got a lovely style and I hope to see more. You're happy in this video, but I think it's incredible how you've grown to sound even more confident in your more recent videos. You've grown so much and that's awesome

  • Charlie Utley says:

    I'm not a fan of her work, but this made me cry

  • DayanaraDays says:

    I just found you on youtube, and have been binge watching you for the last two hours. And it may seems arbitrary, but the most surprising thing that I didn't pick up on in your other videos was that you were not born into the sex that you resemble now. It's actually really impressive. Did you ever have that awkward stage (especially in the first year,) or was your jump smoother? It may be TMI, but did you have facial surgery? There is just a really nice curvature and structure to your face.

  • Monocle Barbie says:

    beautiful illustrations thanks for that

  • idrils says:

    Kat ! <3 I discovered your videos a few days ago on youtube's suggestion. I started watching seeing a beautiful strong black woman talking about cultural appropriation, then through your videos about transexuality discovered your gender journey, and now I'm discovering that you're also a fantastic artist. It's like unpealing a fabulous onion ! Looking forward for new great layers i might not know about yet ^_^. I really love your drawing style, it reminds me a bit of Craig Thompson, and other comics i can't put my finger on right now. Weirdly it also reminded me of Chris Ware (owing to reading Building stories recently), but much more soft and human. Do you have specific influences or references ?

  • Alexa Godoy says:

    This touched my very dark soul, amazing artist!

  • Genevieve Remy says:

    Wow, Kat. This animation was amazing

  • tumtumtreee says:

    You are so talented! It's so affirming to hear your story – I'm currently in that kind of post-graduation funk, but you give me hope xx

  • LifeInReverse says:

    I just found your videos today. LOVE THEM! And I really love the way that you illustrated this! Awesome job and wonderful life journey thus far! Keep being YOU!

  • Alvaro Zavala says:

    youre an inpiration and powerful human being!!❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • Unabashed says:

    I love you.

  • Christopher Williams says:

    Ayeee! Thanks so much for sharing this.

  • beawilderment says:

    so inspiring. love your illustrations!

  • Eszter Barok says:

    Oh my, this is so moving, I'm in tears now. You're so beautiful and talented.

  • Kndr Krb says:

    Wow this was so informative and revealing. Thank you so much for making urself so vulnerable to absolute strangers on the web in order to convey such an in important message about acceptance and transitions and the hardships encountered along the way. Really shed some perspective.

  • Nia Imani says:

    Wow, thank you so much for sharing this Kat! You're so creative, intelligent & inspirational.

  • Baby Soul says:

    but this is nothing your body looks like?
    like your fat..?

  • Niagurl40 says:

    you have magical hands. i loved listening and watching your story. the illustrations are beautiful. you are lucky! i wish i could draw.

  • Sora Hatake says:

    You are Awsome 😀 Your Life is Totaly aborable :3

  • Glen Coco says:

    oh wow i didnt know you are a fellow animator! im an animator too… from sheridan college … Imma run to check out all yer stuff lol

  • mechanesthesia says:

    <3

  • Harlow Donte says:

    I honestly love you, I have watched almost all of your videos. You are so well spoken. So intelligent. And so beautiful. You give me strength, strength to be me. So glad I found your channel. You are amazing girl ❤️🙌🏿

  • Art&Vlog says:

    this is so AMAZING! WOW I'm impressed I'm just so sorry that the network basically stole it from you! GIVE KAT BACK HER VIDEO! >:O

  • Arturo M says:

    This is an amazing life story. I'm glad you're happy with yourself. And I found it interesting Bc my name is arturo dang

  • Arturo M says:

    Your art is so beautiful

  • Dusty says:

    Your art is so beautiful! I wish I could do something that inspiring.

  • King Gary says:

    love this story i cried alil

  • uneque nwachukwu says:

    i love your videos and you do you screw the haters

  • Dan the Dude says:

    Your story is so inspirational, and your art is amazing! What program did you use for the video?

    Also, this may not be my place to speak, but is it possible that you may be intersex, considering you developed breasts during puberty?

  • Luke says:

    this made me cry, tears of joy and tears of sadness. Such an inspiration

  • Ms. Eerie says:

    I'm a new subscriber and am already in love with your videos. I related to this one so much ❤️

  • Ebenita says:

    wow! I arrived here by accident….glad I did!

  • E. K .O says:

    it makes me sad my birthday is so close to hers

  • Sarvagataya says:

    Wow I admire your bravery !

  • identityisrelative says:

    While I often disagree with you on issues of "race", this was touching, and I hope you are doing well. 🙂

  • De Nichols says:

    I'm new to your channel, and it was so valuable watching this video and learning more about your journey. Thank you, Kat.

  • Aria Serpa says:

    I love this. I started a channel and have had to take a break before I've gotten much done. This inspired me not to give up. <3<3<3

  • Akey KX says:

    This is honestly such a good video. Your story is wonderful.

  • pwdsa says:

    Beautiful <3

  • ஐCrossing.the.Cosmos ஐ says:

    This was beautiful to watch… I'm an aspiring animator too… So one question..wjich is better: Art institute, SCAD, or CAL aarts?

  • SJ James says:

    So I like cried at the end because you're such an amazing person and you inspire me 🙂 I recently found your channel a few weeks ago and I LOVE all your videos I've seen and I didn't think there was anyone on YouTube like you. So yeah you're awesome!

  • Sneseii says:

    Your art and videos are amazing. Thank you for the great content, Kat!

  • Journey Jamison says:

    I can't really hear what she is saying over the music 🙁

  • Trày Wàvy says:

    Kat is super pretty😍😍😍

  • Mar style says:

    your story is beautiful I'm just confused on what u where born a girl or boy?

  • Lunablivion says:

    Holy fuck the music is so loud

  • FP E says:

    omg I did the hoodie and hung out in the library w no friends too lmao. you're so inspiring girl, I love you!

  • Dubside Productions says:

    This animation is beautiful.

  • Zed Alexandra says:

    Beautiful animation!

  • Phoebe Wolf says:

    Oh my gosh I'm sorry if this is mean but I've seen so many of your videos and I didnt even know you were trans! You were so brave to be able to come out! Your drawings are so good!

  • Perrin K says:

    wow, when I watched a few of your videos I would have never questioned weather you were trans or not. I thought you were a girl eminently. I question some stuff that goes on nowadays, but I love you for being this brave and beautiful. 😄

  • Darby Skiles says:

    TBH I want to see your student films

  • Stephanie Broder says:

    This was so great, I really admire you Kat! I'm an artist as well and hearing about your identity struggles while pursuing art was really inspiring. Keep doing what you do, love your channel <3

  • Polka Dots says:

    This is amazing ❤️

  • David Luong says:

    I love the video content, and especially love the video animation .This is one of my favorite videos in your channel. I wondering do you have any links to your art film projects ?

  • beautifulL52 says:

    You look goooooddddd!!!! I didn't know you were trans gender. to be honest I don't quite know what that truly means but I don't care. The content you put in your video Is down right amazing! you have a great voice! and great talent!

  • Marshae Kirkpatrick says:

    You and your boyfriend are like a Pixar couple <3 <3

  • Steven pie Theories says:

    I'm curious were you a intersexual ? You started off as a boy then developed boobs doing puberty. So basically you have male and female organs?

  • Linky Girl says:

    Was she born a girl or a guy. Hopefully that's not rude 😕 I'm just curious.

  • Unicorn says:

    omg you're amazing, this makes me emotional and idk why

  • Unicorn says:

    your story is bone chilling

  • fijimermaidable says:

    This has been my favorite draw my life vid. It doesn't surprise me that you have a creative gift. Can't wait to see your illustrations 🙂

  • Hailey Nicole says:

    Honestly I feel so sorry for the trans people who want and can't afford hormones. Breaks my heart that they have to hate their body because they can't per chase what they need

  • Cassandré P says:

    The art in this is really good

  • jazy21boo says:

    so you were born a male

  • Brittney Baxter says:

    I haven't seen your videos before today but I am sooo glad I've found you😍

  • emaciatedunicorn says:

    this was so sweet girl omg

  • BrittLovesGlam says:

    Wow your awesome I love that you never gave up on Art!

  • Caca roshi says:

    huh? how were you a boy that grew tits, but didn't take the medication?? that doesn't make any sense.

  • Matt Blanchet Simard says:

    Your animation and art is so good and beautiful.

  • Remzi says:

    Great video. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Patricia says:

    I love it! Thank you for inspiring me. 🙂

  • David Patterson says:

    you got gyno you didnt "develop breasts"

  • Katherine Murphy says:

    So fast forward to today…You grew up to be a hate spouting race fascist who does amazing art.

    Here's my question: What do white people have to do NOT be considered racist? You say you speak the truth, but it's your truth, not THE truth. You have no corner on truth. In fact, live a lie. Until you sort out your person issues i.e., abandonment, identity, guilt, inferiority, approval, etc, you can't be taken seriously.

    Your art is good tho.

  • lazymatts says:

    lol u started to develop breasts….with out hormones? you mean you got fat smh when I hear trans storys its always some fishy shit going on in the explanation
    they find one thing! that they did when they were younge that they liked that their gender is not supposed to like, talking bout
    I liked to draw…but only girls were supposed to draw ): WOMP WOMP
    like are you fucking kiddding me?
    then u grew tits before hormones? and ur like well ima girl then …when ur just fucking fat
    I was dieing by this part
    you got tits at puberty…but you were born a man…HMMMMMMMMM HOW CAN A MAN GET TITS WITH OUT HORMONES??
    you just got fat calm down

  • Zach Stonerock says:

    How did I never see this?
    Kat this was so great, and your art style is sooo awesome!!

  • Blake Russell says:

    kat bla-kwuh went to an art gallery and instantly knew she was transgender, because she fell in love with art and only girls can like art. so she became female.

    just kidding!!! i know people will hate me even though i'm joking but i can't control them. i fully support everyone who transitions from one gender or sex to another. i may not agree with kat's politics or some of her other beliefs, but i certainly respect her gender identity. everyone's sexuality should be acknowledged, even if you don't agree with their opinions, those things don't invalidate who they are.

  • Blake Russell says:

    it's sad that anyone feels they have to hide important parts of their identity, like being transgender. i hope that sometime in my lifetime, preferably soon, that no one in the LGBTQ+ community feels any fear of telling people about their identity, privately or publicly.

  • Natalie K says:

    Hands down, my favorite Draw My Life video I've ever seen!

  • jesse ortiz says:

    so do still have a dick

  • Alexis Monai says:

    I love this! You prove that what may seem like setbacks, are just small parts of the journey. I'm happy that your living your dreams and working towards even more.

  • WGQs For Josh says:

    Love your illustration style.

  • Lily says:

    I love your art style! Such a beautiful way to tell your story.

  • Madelyn Rhode says:

    I'm sorry but I'm confused. We're you born a boy or girl?

  • Serena Sonoma says:

    Thanks so much for sharing this! I'm kind of late, but glad I watched. I relate to some of what you've gone through. I was raised by my grandparents. I'm a college dropout and I'm currently stuck in my own rut. Living at home with my grandmother and my aunts and just a full house with that constantly makes me socially anxious and suffocated, but they are all very supportive. My entire family is very supportive. My granddad passed away last year and my grandmother as lung cancer. And I'm struggling to gain some success or at least feel in control. I'm freelance writing and hoping that it takes off so there's that. But looking at this inspired me because you got out of that and look where you are now! And if you can do it then so can I. . . I've also been sooo fearful about dating. I don't know why. Maybe something I should stop being avoidant of.

  • Dooky says:

    When she said "Matthew" I was shook. I forgot she was trans

  • Les Anderson says:

    WOAH WAIT WHAT. Okay. Can someone please explain?? I wanna make sure I am using the right pronouns. Kat is a trans woman? Was she amab or afab?

  • Chelsea Poet says:

    Art was a girl thing? Why?

  • Chelsea Poet says:

    He was nice even though he was 30? Why wouldn't a 30 year old be nice?

  • yeee geee says:

    3 years ago i dropped outta cal arts to pursue becoming a tattoo artist ✔ check out my designs kat&outsiders instagram @sublimesketchers ;;;} 🌆🌇🌆

  • Hugh Mungus says:

    This dude has white privilege.

  • Martinique Junebug says:

    I want to watch it all the way through but the music is ratcheting up my anxiety…

  • Jc Denis says:

    Isn’t self medicating really bad?

  • kaylie hamilton says:

    i came across your channel and im so glad i did . this single video gave me so much hope <3 i subscribed so fast dksdh

  • Padraic Baker says:

    Beautiful Story I am glad a friend of mine introduced me to your work. Well worth the viewing. I look forward to more of your story.

  • Golden Tresh says:

    As a genderqueer person, I found this very inspiring. I’m glad you are open and happy.

  • PepsiCoke says:

    Everyone is a "little in between" DUH! We all start as female, until the X chromosome kicks in and morphs us into boys. Who says that material things define gender? Gender is fluid.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *