Ean Weslynn, 2011 Writers Retreat Fellow in Genre Fiction

Ean Weslynn, 2011 Writers Retreat Fellow in Genre Fiction



I know I would like to introduce in Westland a class of 2011 lamda fellow [Applause] don't worry I got it punters stood next to the dining table his hands full of put two trays he noted the looks of his fellow diners all you can eat isn't a challenge both the entrees looked really good the grass will always be greener hunter yeah well my ass will always be leaner understand the freshman 15 is a clear and present danger yeah well so is my pimp and Hunter sat down next to Bernard and showcases right-hander Louise sorry I don't have the guy'll to survive on soy lattes and virgin blood like you I will street fight you yonder spring at dhalsim kids not at the dinner table Lucas dad please you're scaring the little one all three of them looked over at Bernard his eyes wide as if Mommy had just had daddy they smiled with the attention of the moment released and began to enjoy their food the cafeteria was packed with groups of freshmen and the leftover parents who hadn't gotten in yet i'm louise her chest and eyes warm and inviting her voice low and purposeful Jesus keep it in your pants hunters out already full of mac and cheese I thought you were off men she had done hunter what's a little harmless flirting harmless is on the short list of traits you don't possess Lou Lucas was busy texting Helena what was what he was about to eat and out yeah and going through a dry spell is not the same as giving up man hunter dug into the spaghetti he had no idea why he was so hungry maybe it was the key I don't even know why we're arguing this Louise huffed bernard is queer hunter no one is as clear as hunter Lucas's phone thief hey hunter is about full of macaroni cheese and indignation Bernhard dropped his fork and sat straight up with his nervous itis at Lewis Louise's presumption he looked around the cafeteria to make sure no one was listening um is it that obvious of course not said hunter the bitch has impeccable gaydar that's an awful word she waved at your finger gay we turned our attention to her tray of a plain burger celery steaks and a carton of skin but Bernard didn't relax Louise took notice oh did I ruin your coming-out moment despite despite this mark her tone was genuine I tend to do that well whatever we're here we're clear where's the beer raid you're a lesbian Bernard was shocked at this revelation but Louise confused to the surprise Louise had the misfortune of being an outsider that everyone wanted to get inside us she was cursed with porcelain skin almond waves and a killer rack since hunter had known her she had shied away from the attention especially that of boys but it was rarely met with success she was an accidental trendsetter it was rumored that jennifer aniston stylish copied the Rachel after seeing one of Louise's elementary school pictures during life's gold she seemed to conform the hunter suspected that this was simply because no one expected her to unfortunately for her guys and girls alike couldn't believe that she had no long-term interest in boys despite herself on paper she had scored less than an alcoholic Oh ed passed out at a pride parade no young bernard were queer oh I mean it's just say you don't look like who KD Lang Melissa Etheridge Ellen Louise had a long list of things she could not stand Ellen DeGeneres was number three what's wrong with Ellen she knows what she did we reach across the table pick up the third cup under tray it was too busy scarfing to protest just because we don't look like doesn't mean we aren't all those queers are in the same fruit cup see you're a strawberry oh I'm allergic to strawberries Bernard shied away from the berry like a seeded time bomb Lukas was somehow able to eat a salad text his girlfriend and correct the conversation at the same time strawberries are classified as a pseudo fruit just like you we're gonna toss the strawberry to Lukas who happily investigated it Bernard can be our cherry she threw the chariot Bernard he easily caught it in his mouth much to her apparent pleasure and hunter can be the grape racist hardly Louise left at the insinuation they are dark and round just like your future please hunter grandpa hunter grab back what was left of his fruit cup everyone knows I'm a pineapple and here hunter picked out blueberry and tossed it out Louise matches your balls

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