How Thor Ragnarok Should Have Ended

How Thor Ragnarok Should Have Ended


Awe Man! Come on! Aaaagh! I’m just a janitor. You look like a smart
boy. How’d you like a job? Um… sure. Excellent! Then you could start by
grabbing that sword. Right away! It’s kind of the key to this whole thing, so I wouldn’t want to leave it behind to get stolen. Awe poop! Go! Now! Don’t worry everyone! This is just a minor set back. All we need to do is extricate ourselves free from this ginormous spear here. And then we can get back to escaping. For Asgard! Oh no. The ship has perished. It looks like we’re all gonna die here. Sorry everyone. The revolution has ended. Aaagh! Hela! Come on! Mwahahahahaha! It’s over, brother! Your lightening and Led Zeppelin have failed! Hmm? You can’t defeat me! No I can’t. But he can! Uh… I said… But he can! Um… Thor? I’m sorry brother! But you know I can’t be trusted! Son of a… Ice Giant! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! So I left them all, and got the heck out of there! Hahahahaha! And then what happened? And then I defeated all of them! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH And I took the tesseract! OH SNAP!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Finally! I’ll take that thanks! Now… Let’s get this party started. Hey! How you doin? Someone’s lookin… Hela fine! Ugh! You can’t defeat me! No I can’t. But she can! Wow. Those things are ridiculously powerful. Mmm hmm. It’s not possible! Darling, you have no idea what’s possible. Gasp! My hammer! Nooooo! That hammer was just like a hammer to me! Okay you guys were supposed to leave promptly but instead I’m detecting even more interdimensional activity… Who is she? Kneel! This is our evil sister! She broke my hammer! She’s going to destroy Asgard and who knows what else! Okay well we can’t have that can we? I said kneel before your que… She’s going to be falling for a really… REALLY long time. Okay NOW you guys need to leave. But my hammer! And the cafe. *sigh* Okay. Fine. So the Doctor fixed my hammer… our sister is falling in an eternal abyss… I’m gonna be the king of Asgard… And everyone is happy and good! Isn’t that right brother? Yes… Everyone is happy… and … good. hrrmmmm. This is weird. Yeah I’m not comfortable with this. What’s wrong, Batman? Don’t you trust that I’m a good guy now? Nobody in their right mind would trust you. Why? Because I’m Batma…OH Sorry. force of habit. Because you’re… Loki. My dear, Batman. Do you think I’m going to get people’s hopes up? And ultimately let them down when the time comes? Yes. What do I look like? The Justice League? Mwahahahahaha! Zing! You’re so mean. Permission to punch your brother in the face? Uh… Denied. I’m joking! It’s a friendly joke! You like jokers. Right Batman? This is all wrong! He’s not supposed to be here! Yeah can I just turn back time and make things back to normal? What do you mean? Everything is back to normal? My brother and I are together again… I have my hammer… I have my hair… I don’t have a girlfriend currently, but that’s not even a problem for me. Everything IS back to normal. Except..uh…well… Except what? Except Father? Except Hulk is still missing. Oh! I forgot. Banner. I’m not sad. I wonder where he is. Don’t worry! Hulk fine! Ahaa! Yes you are! I just can’t get enough of this. Maybe it’s because I’m so… Thorsty! HAHAHAHAHA! Awe.

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