The Smoking Gun Present's – World's Dumbest Performers 14

The Smoking Gun Present's - World's Dumbest Performers 14



it's televisions most stupendous hour of rise we're showcasing the 20 wildest ballsiest most dumb tacular performers with commentary from your favorite celebrity host [Applause] find out tonight hey this is Vinnie T for the furniture guy give me a call at three five one thirty nine hundred for a limited time only the furniture guys got Queen mattress sets for $99 and King sets for 129 Benny fantastic that was great let's do it again that is the least Rockstar way to have a mattress related injury you know I was gonna buy six mattresses from Vinnie T but not anymore I like a guy who knows it's a bad idea that's what I was afraid was gonna happen but follows through with it anyway fine sure my cation I'm fine Vinnie broke his guitar and painted flames on his mom station wagon he is so grounded let us save yo ass every time you get on film yeah it's okay Vinnie we've all had our embarrassing moments and most of them were also on a mattress at the 2012 European football championships Holland and Germany are about to square off outside the stadiums a perfectly capable newscaster reports as an endless parade of performing idiots gets in her way pretty blonde soccer hooligan Europe I don't see how there ain't no pervert like one legged pervert just when you thought it couldn't get any stranger paints the famous orange jumpsuit Jim he's making sexual harassment fun again finally the newscaster abandons her report and leaves the scene I think this reporter learned a lot about people and I'm sorry can we start over ladies and gentlemen welcome to the annual miss culture blog here in beautiful western Africa I'm just nice and to my agent up Nets contestant number 15 Erica okay thank you come on back those are a little bit high think we should try something lower now [Applause] you know it looks to me like before the beauty contest she may have been at some sort of a drinking contest that's my baby right there did I say she was not doing it I meant the other one the one not crying well it says here that Erica loves long walks for somebody else [Applause] Erica don't blame yourself those are veteran whore heels you really have to work your way up to that sort of deep ho he'll takes time Bobby noticed erica fails to advance in the competition you didn't win you didn't even place but you went out classy Erica and the only could ever take that away from you why is this woman so excited something's rotten on Sesame Street and who will win when Mellon takes on melon find out when world's dumbest performers continues busty heart is a GG inductee into the world's dumbest Hall of Fame her gigantic assets have left a lasting impression on all they have touched and bus T's work has inspired a new generation of boob bashers which brings us to performer number 17 I'm Rachel start I'm gonna try and bust this watermelon with the chest or to be more specific my right breast occult drastically come on at this point just say titty what's holding you back shyness well we'll try we'll see how this goes okay like those melons how does that melon somebody's eyeballs are bigger than their boobs boobs sympathy boobs lady that's not what they're meant for tamashii I guess it's too late to point this out but most supermarkets sell melon that's already cut up lady take it easy hey this ain't a Gallagher show fish shoulder flag on the play fist shoulder I'm not a doctor but it looks like one of those melons is lactating you're not done we all see that big box of melons right there come on let's get smashing to practice actually hurt I don't know about you but I can think of a lot better things to do with is besides crushing watermelons really hurt its town-hall meeting time in Charlotte North Carolina and one disgruntled resident is about to deliver the performance of a lifetime next speaker is David Thompson fuck that Homeland Security okay the turtleneck under the tweed jacket with the patches and the hair something's not right here I'm here tonight to act request John Walsh of the FBI's most wanted to make public and request a number one America's number one Public Enemy he still worked up he can't even read his prepared statement we have a rogue helicopter pilot on the loose inside this airspace he's also on the loose inside this country and I am after this report right here the 28th I woke up in my house it Laden evening early morn is am constantly I'm still not getting a sense of how shaky the effect of that helicopter was was it shaky like an insane it was the same white helicopter that I saw on Sunday afternoon that flew over my house when I walked from my part of the house to my garage damn it he's on to me she exact scene no boy scouts in the audience and they might be getting scared because they have a right to be scared wherever you are mr. helicopter pilot come out of your hole and you too George Shinn because you were in that helicopter pod you're in the helicopter and you're nothing but a chameleon lemon headed coward taras pussy matrix surprise lamppost and the vacuum cleaner champion of the Mushroom Kingdom I'm after you buddy pay for it tonight good night thank you very much sir note to self stop following this one guy for no reason our countdown moves to Canada where this couple has just started a video production business so who needs a movie did they make this video at gunpoint our anniversary is coming up let's make the movie so we can send it to your brother and family come on Sharon babe you look a lot what about prom night or a special evening out maybe you want to make a bondage porn using gloves and puppetry are you an artist or a trades person why not jazz up your website they need a website we can help with that we could do everything you could do only worse wait was that animation look at Pixar Paris for your next important event will be happy to videotape it we could put it on a DVD or even send it over the Internet each movie is expertly crafted on a Commodore 64 the very thing they're trying to sell is the thing they're proving they can't do we now take a break from the countdown to bring you this runner up a drunk clown trying to his shoe turnout pig that was a drunk clown trying to put on his shoe after a long day of hugging children and taking pictures a man dressed up as Elmo starts singing a different tune this episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters W T and M course Elmo knows John Gotti Elmo's a made man his wife's on that show Muppet wives not ask something you thought you'd never hear is that a trick question because you're wearing a tuxedo jacket with hearts all over it Elmo's red subsides for the moment until police are called to the scene not true I mean unless it's Mel Gibson what did the man is arrested and removed from the park oh come on officer Rosenblatt I'm sure we can work this all out if you just call my attorney Harold Cohen I was actually in Central Park with my kids when this happened and it was very unfortunate but the silver lining was we got to have a frank conversation about Jewish control of the media this Kitty has flaws statutory rap and eclipse so insane it's gonna make Danny Sony's mouth shut when world's dumbest performers continues one more info on the show follow us on twitter at twitter.com/worldsdumbest for exclusive behind-the-scenes updates about and from your favorite cast members our number thirteen moment comes to us from Israel country rich in culture filled with religious sights delicious food and this guy who's attempting to perform a headstand on his car you know he does a book nobody else's even down to film it for you this is why you've never heard the phrase Jewish stuntin okay this is actually pretty comfortable worst part the nearest auto shop is in the West Bank dropping in at number 12 straight out of Florida a new video from up-and-coming hip-hop star Albert do some fly threads you got from the Baby Gap pop is the single off of Albert's new album child service investigates I'm actually more disturbed by Albert's popped belly button but I don't like being defined by something I did so long ago now come on ladies that brings us to this woman who uses her unique talent to impress people on Venice Beach my name is Misha and I will be sewing my time wow I bet you right now your mom wishes you had just been a stripper the time so I started by my teacher in college telling us to do the most outrageous thing we would do on camera just go crazy don't question your urges a lot of people speculate that I use a numbing agent which I don't I think your personality is a numbing agent which is why you started sewing things on your tongue to seem interesting am i close okay I can't watch this this is too gross you don't want to get no blows out for myself no it's gonna be strings attached oh I get it it's her name you know what I'll give you an A for effort and a d' for sloppy stitchwork take this right out I just grab and pull look that hard to me I'm betting I can stitch a message into my tongue ready here we go [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] Andy what's wrong with you man okay but lame thing but I think I proved my point and now a postscript with Frank Stallone is so you turn with a needle Oh grosses me out man oh when I think of a that may appear see rings aw man gross me nipple ring any of it don't pierce your ears that's it I don't want to know about it you know I'm telling you girls that day you want to Frank Stallone here's how it goes no piercings no tattoos I don't give up if you're the hottest bitch in the world I see a tongue ring I see a bellybutton ring I see some tribal tattoo on the small of your back get dumped yeah that was a postscript with Frank Stallone at the Houston Zoo an animal trainer demonstrates how to feed dangerous predators hey parents bring your little children over here I'm gonna stick rat corpses through this fence you can watch them be devoured by cats Oh today I'm getting a rat and some finger hey new guy why don't you ask the old trainer how he used to feed the wild cat oh he was mauled I don't care kids around this is a mother moment you know what this has to be over now can I go somehow the trainer walks away needing only a few stitches because of this guy now no one's allowed to bring in dead rats to feed the animals thanks a lot guy here's one way to win a debate the world now you can experience dumb like never before but the world's dumbest app it's the best videos whenever you want ugh it's free on your phone or tablet use the app while you watch the show take dumb to a whole new level go to the App Store and download it now our countdown moves to Jordan where a live televised debate between parliament member Mohammad chihuaha and a local public activist is quickly heating up I think things are going pretty well in the Middle East do a lot of spies do TV not very deep cover here we go now this debate is getting good [Applause] roll credits this kind of a show wouldn't work on American TV except for the gun part the men are separated before any shots are fired and the debate is cut short yet another reason I would never host a controversial talk show in Georgia I also hate hot weather [Applause] here is 2012 ad [Applause] two large rivals journey from on a desolate plain or their final spoiler alert these guys are nerds I love how the one guys dressed all medieval and the other guys like Inspector Gadget with nunchucks very consistent wardrobe choices for this film who is this a scene from the new dork movie there are no girls in this movie it's weird oh no not in the throat it's the only muscle he actually uses it's great it's great they look good they look cool so who's gonna lead creme locks men to recover the secret medallion of Naza door kind of left me hang in there these are the kids that grow up to be Steven Spielberg JJ Abrams or just some anonymous adult nerd you've never heard of probably the latter number seven on our countdown brings us to a company picnic where after a long day of golf and drinking some employees compete in a pie-eating contest wait this is a company outing what kind of company is this good bring that same energy brought to your power point performance last week by your bitch like that fires your whore get it Mike hit that war there is nothing scarier than a group of preppy white men screaming swallow it please don't eat that Mike you don't [Applause] hey where's not what not [Applause] despite his more than valiant effort Mike does not win the contest oh man that was awesome so much fun also you're fired hello I am Brian Kaminski do you have to learn to do the twirls cartwheels backflips side flips all kinds of flips then I want you to come down to kolinsky Gymnastics Academy check out one of our new methods how do we know where the best gyms go around it's called the high bar right now Hey okay first 100 customers get custom spark of spandex designed by me and I will help you put them on because they're tight what are you a prank that's so bad laughs it's so good Bob bus meet singing sensation Jan Terri and a lion-taming performance that was Vegas to shape world's dumbest performers continues circus performers risk their lives every day yeah [Applause] but throw a wild animal into the mix and it's a whole different kind of dangerous at this circus in Chile a lion trainer is about to perform his signature routine oh that's so cute you almost forget he's a lion this is the secret that lion tamers won't tell you Lions can't be tamed [Applause] times please divert your attention away from the Lions it's with the knife jungle arrows despite the violent encounter that performer walks away unscathed look the trainer took the relationship to a level the line was not prepared for and who hasn't been there Chicago based music phenomenon Jam Terry has been an underground sensation for over 20 years singing her own brand of blues rock and of course holiday songs so we made sure to save a spot on our countdown for her most recent Yuletide classic excuse my Christmas what do you think oh wow Jam it's a little pitchy little pitchy honey she's on key and the pianos off hey Spanish Christmas what is going on with your Mexican buddies that is not well done enough to even be racist I could say is excused you're not to tell you how to do your job lady but maybe move your legs a little bit when you're doing a fake walk miss Soto well yeah just like that Dan you are nailing it baby you're like Elmer Fudd I love the cold I love the snow in New York City there's so many places to go it's like she had a five-year-old fill out Mad Libs and voila lyrics do you like excuse my Christmas check out our other big hits a year is almost over pat down – Happy New Year wait a minute wait a minute you can't just change holidays mid-song [Applause] [Applause] good evening I'm Billy Kimball and welcome 2wd news I'm being told we have a breaking report an update on a very very serious story let's go to our reporter live on the scene what really happened on that Thursday here at Augusta high school that led to Chris Wood's death Isiah hey let's use our reporter voice and TV words somebody that led to Chris Wood's you know maybe if you didn't open your mouth so big while you were reporting this wouldn't have nice talks to Joe are we rolling indeed not all performers are conscious of how entertaining they are in fact sleepwalkers put on quite a show with no memory of their finest moments so when Nick suspects his mom is sleepwalking he heads into the kitchen to investigate and what exactly are you doing there I'm pretty sure I broke the code and it means you're back crazy don't look at me with your dead lifeless eyes I wouldn't open and I'm pissed off now I must bid you adieu with my sleepwalker salute you just seen 19 ships Bank of the most stupidly entertaining for for apps and take home the title of the dumbest find out new when world's dumbest performers continues coming in at number one on our list of dumb performers meet Vitaly he performs juvenile pranks to get a rise out of unsuspecting folks today's prank approach a stranger with a mysterious suitcase but give him suitcase okay here's is for you okay first dumb thing your hole might be a bomb in a suitcase prank second you pick this guy you know dude this is just a prank DISA there's a camera right over there we're just trying to make a fool out of you on the Internet this does not help at all so all good hey yo gel gel the victim first chases Vitaly but then turns his attention to the cameraman you just woke up the bear mother once again only prank white people we are we my bad Mitali is arrested for creating a farmhouse which is a second degree felony he faces up to 15 years in prison whoa 15 years yeah that's worth it did you see the look on that guy's face I've got a great idea for a new prank for Vitaly what about just taking a gun and going around and pointing it at people and seeing how they react roll credits be going good good yes this is my last shot with a vomit I will take your body and turn you into a man it's just fun it's fun she's got great rhythm it's fun nailed it this place all right bring it home now nice good night everyone

25 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *